Am I the only one who thinks Buffy had incredibly selfish friends?

For example, when she comes back at the beginning of season 3, and
again when she comes back from the dead the second time. Both
instances, they kept attacking her for how her departures affected
them, but they never seemed to consider how she was feeling or what
she was going through until after their fallouts and reconciles. Their
first thoughts were how she was not there for them, not how she was
feeling to leave/take time to adjust.

IMO, good friends will consider your feelings first after stressful
events to see how you are holding up, not consider how your hardships
have made their lives harder. True or not?